Baggu Kru

Bill has written recently about Pat Sajak and the Wheel of Fortune. That jogged my memory about something I wrote way back in 2020 when I was “channeling” (or whatever you want to call it) stories not unlike Daymon Smith’s tales. The style of writing was a lot like the 3 books that Daymon penned. Meaning, pretty difficult to understand. Written in English, but not really accessible without serious effort.

Like Daymon, I viewed myself as the scribe so it wasn’t really my role to clean it up in a way that made the tales more readable. I simply wrote what flowed to my pen. For the most part, it’s a hard-to-follow text, but it can be done and some of it I think is well worth the effort. I probably won’t post the tales here anytime soon. I like what this site is doing in its current state and posting those stories would be a hard pivot away from that.

So why am I giving this backstory? After Bill’s wheel of fortune post, I told Bill that I had some references to it in my own writings but I was hesitant to share it b/c it referenced Bill in a personal way, specifically his past struggles with mental health, which stemmed directly from his own “channeling” of words, ideas, dreams, etc. But Bill has been pretty open about that and encouraged me to post the details here.

To do that, I’ll have to give a very quick Reader’s Digest version of what led to what I’m about to share or else it won’t make much sense.

Back in early 2020, Bill and I were supposed to write a tale together called the Numenorion. Think Silmarillion, but instead of it being about the Silmarils, it would be about Numenor. At least, that is what Daymon told us we would do. What actually did transpire would make for a very long post, but the Numenorion never did materialize. Bill and I worked very closely together for the first half of 2020 trying to decipher each other’s “words”, dreams, etc. But in May of that year, Bill suffered a breakdown and by July or so, all communication between us ceased. This wasn’t a falling out, but Bill needed space to heal and the exploration we were doing was at odds with that healing process. To be honest, at the time I thought I would never hear from Bill again.

Before we stopped communicating, Bill had a dream about an alien-type figure raiding his refrigerator, about which some spirits told him “beware this one”. The next day I had this dream:

4/23/2020
[words as I awoke]
Trade [ a word or two faded as I awoke i think] and make two of one and you shall get another. It is the word of the Lord.

[Earlier I had dreamed of me, Bill, and a third man I didn’t know on a journey together. We found ourselves in a wilderness area. The third guy had been pushing us in directions that ended up being the wrong decisions and I was thinking he needed to go. He and Bill each had a cooler. Bill’s was nicer but the other man’s was bigger. God told me if we traded Bill’s cooler for his, the other man would go away. I tried getting Bill to do it but he was fast asleep and didn’t want to wake up. He was laying on his side on the ground, facing away from me. I gently tried to rouse him but he said something gruff to me to leave him alone. I felt like I had no choice so I made the trade without his permission and the other man left.

Next we ended up on Bill’s farm where I met his wife and kids who were kinda like “who the hell are you/why the hell are you here?”. Bill left me alone to deal w something else, some animals I think. I met his boys first and said “what’s up boyzos?” They didn’t get the joke so I explained it {boys+bozos=boyzos}. The older boy loosened up and started talking but I don’t recall about what. Bill’s wife was there and seemed to be grinning and bearing it. Wasn’t super happy about me being there but didn’t make me leave either. But being at the farm seemed like a step in the right direction so it seemed like the trade worked.]

Because of this dream we were both pretty convinced that some trade needed to happen. After he and I stopped communicating, I still felt it was my duty to write something and so I attempted to do so throughout the second half of 2020. It was June 30th that I awoke to the words “baggu kru”. I didn’t realize at the time but it was actually supposed to be “baggu Kuru”, short for Curumo, which is Saruman’s original name. Baggu means “trader”.

In Sep i wrote the following:

But a trade is left to be made that will bring a hope renewed to one now sleeping (Bill) who labors now in mist substantial as a bucket of Thu poured out upon his household. Buying time for his escape will be made a path for one to bring a hope-chest, as cooler may be, and to him will you deliver a burden from you to pass, the first of 12, knowledge hidden but now fresh made as a first loaf of bread, and to him impart of this substance in trade to receive what promised in dream, something bigger for something nicer.

Parting paths then will be with a companion not meant for your burden and unable to fill a void that was never his to guide. A guest that shall no longer set his hand to steady an ark and raid no more of others’ stores. Fear not the end in this for Eru’s ways often stump the wise and we no longer fear to follow a path dark if knowing it was He that set our feet thereon, trusting that to all Good shall even dark paths lead.

Sacred lore thus shall pass out of our house and shall at some time and way pass to us again, enriched and made greater than at passing from us.

I’m sure you can see the ties to both my dream and Bill’s. In this writing, it was Kuru who raided Bill’s fridge and directly led to Bill’s woes in real life. The trade would serve two purposes: it would get Kuru out of our way (so Bill could heal and we could do what we were supposed to do) and put Kuru on a path to repent if he would choose to do so.

The trade was that I would give Kuru hidden lore (by which he could be redeemed) in exchange for a hope-chest that had belonged to Miriel in the early days of this world. That hope chest was supposed to be given directly to Bill. And I’m talking a literal box with treasures and delights for not only him, but his whole family. Think of it like the Ark of the Covenant. The lore was nothing Bill had written, however. I would have to write it myself. This is different from my dream where I gave away a cooler that belonged to Bill. At the time I assumed the lore I’d be writing was meant for him to write and in that sense, it was “his”. So I would tap into his lore, write it, and give it away since he was not able to do so. That’s me filling in blanks to make it fit my dream, though. I don’t think the good spirits I channeled ever put it in those terms that I recall.

Over the next few days I wrote down the lore that was to be traded on several pages in my notebook. I thought it was actually pretty cool stuff but it would take quite a bit of effort to get it onto the blog and like I said, I’m not sure that’s what the blog is for at this moment.

But I do have all that lore. In it, a path was outlined to Kuru-Saruman on how to redeem himself from his own wickedness and save others too like Wormtongue, but he would have to humble himself and lay aside evil. I was to withhold this lore from Kuru until he delivered the hope chest to Bill.

Man, crazy stuff as I am looking back! But it all made perfect sense at the time. We were playing hardball too. He had 10-days time to get it done or else he would be under a binding. It would have been really cool if it had worked out though. Imagine Bill opening his front door and finding an ancient hope chest that had existed in Valinor!

By mid Oct the spirit Kuru came to me and pleaded for more time. I awoke one morning to my bed shaking and the words hep pute/putta which translates pretty well to “pause binding”, or if you want to get creative with putta as a double meaning, it could mean “pause binding, b*tch” which would not surprise me one bit coming from Kuru. He did, after all, drop the biggest wolf spider I have ever seen right on my head one night as I was writing to him. I called him a d*ck and shut my book that night.

Anyway, he asked that we pause the binding and then he told me he was having a hard time remembering where, exactly, the hope chest was. He only knew it was under a spell he himself had placed before he left Valinor and he had no idea where it was buried or what spell could undo it. In my writings, he was encouraged to “dig deep” and to put his trust in Eru. He was promised that his mind would be able to remember if he did so.

As the window was closing, he came to me again and offered to trade some lore of his own instead. I started to write it but had a distinct impression to not write it, that it was bad lore. He tried two nights in a row but both times it was the same experience. Do not write his lore. So I didn’t.

As time wore on, I was feeling the pressure to get something from him instead of nothing and I think so were the good spirits I was writing for. Kuru struck me as sincere, or at least trying but he was also adamant he could not get the job done in time. The fear, I think, was that we’d get no hope chest AND poor Bill would still suffer from this spirit’s continued attention. So the deal was changed: leave Bill alone and we won’t bind you, Kuru. If you’re serious about repenting, call on good spirits for aid and they will help you fulfill this secret lore ONLY if you bring the hope chest. You’ll be done with Bill regardless, though. If you’re a liar, the lore won’t do you any good anyway and you’ll end up bound after all. Kuru accepted the terms and with that, I gave up the secret lore to him.

In hindsight it was probably a bad trade. But on the other hand, eventually Bill and I did reconnect in early 2021 and looking back at his timeline of recovery, as I recall, he said it was late Oct/early Nov that he really started to feel better. So maybe it was a good trade after all.

Regardless, Kuru said this:

Bill I release from my hold and now turn and bless in saying: a curse I renounce, as one to add leverage and sway to my reliance.

And then a few days later I wrote this difficult-to-read text from the good spirits, basically telling Kuru he’s facing a “worm that dieth not” if he decides to not make good on the full trade, hope chest and all. He’d have to find his own way back to Valinor, and good luck doing that without the help of these good spirits! This is the part that references the wheel of Fortune and Pat “say Jack”:

A worm that dieth not nor fades in existence, but held in reserve for a dying man’s wish to be told where might be found openings to a cave containing lights substantial of aforetime telling. Bending upon one’s knee a cart wheel left for others to wheel about in spinning magicks like a wheel of fortune binding laughter of a contestant knowing to solve puzzle. A “say Jack” delighted to bring forth treasures won fair and square. Wondering lights in bright faces to cheers of onlookers delighted and overjoyed at another’s good fortune. A live studio audience in-brought to witness hell’s escaped, spinning for fortune’s grace.

Failing to find a hoped for chest leaves but one option: to escape into and then out from a Void as told in lore, offered graciously, despite no trade presenting. Path’s opening being left to your own craft making and skilled out-searching, aided not by friends otherwise desirous to so do. Dig Deep!! If wishing for aid as promised. Deep to remember where and deep to obtain in spirit grasp and retain from guardian oversight. Nothing Eru wills is in vain or undoable but agency he leaves for any to claim as able. So claim to gather in what needed for fair trade! Or if not, chance your own path away these parts and persons.

I interpret the above as implying the hope chest contains the said “wheel of fortune” which Bill would use like Pat “say Jack” to help solve a puzzle and let “hell’s escaped” spin the wheel for some kind of fortune.

So anyway there it is, my perspective of the trade, how it went down, and a couple of syncs to the Wheel of Fortune. To my knowledge, Kuru has yet to make good on the trade, but what else would we expect from an old villain? Maybe he will surprise us though. Or maybe I was just too deep inside my own head back in 2020! Maybe Bill got better despite all this trading and not because of it.