<<Previous Page | Next Page>>

1.07.18

So sometimes Eru snuck away into the New Place, a little world dangling afar off, to see there under disguise what Fates the Ainur had undertaken to unroll, and which left unadorned, and maybe later embroidered upon by his fancy. And returning, at times he sat a while, silent amid the revelry of his house, and the learning instruction, and gaiety of laughing spirits, and discovery unbounded; and then after thinking, pondering what course to undertake himself, also would he nominate some surprise aid-at- arms, vacuous of mind (!), or bereft of beauty, or concerned with his own fascination of face and countenance (the vain, even here? Especially so!), saying to them some counsel, and a tale great in the making-of (by this being), he sent forth willing heroes (or would be!) to populate or disturb the plans wrought- out by Ainu – some messengers bearing advice, to stay often to the detriment (it seemed) of Arda, and benefactor Eru-place (in their absence);

And also among these lesser in his understanding and furtherance of will, would he jettison (it seemed!) great spirits to land often ignominiously there, void of strength and power, to do whatsoever their hearts devised; and these making plans, and setting forth to do, would Eru hallow their ways and put his hand into the void – there to summon Ea! whatsoever good these weak-ones imagined, be thought themselves good and beneficial to Arda, and her souls; thus came Eru often in guises impenetrable even to Melko, amid a carnival of fools, and fool- seeming wise ones, sometimes he pilfered space whereabouts others lay, and set there imaginings to come upon them at unawares, to appear as if their own ingenious devices; thus also was sent in last hope, desperation against Melko’s absolute tyranny, Varda-antique, bearing a light inextinguishable in passage through the gate, as though perpetually open in her hand was the light of Eru-place, almost by all there in the New Place, forgotten; also came Tulkas, bread-winning, bearing laughter when days darkest fell, and eager to appease Arda, of Melko’s footprint’s unclean touch;

And many others still secreted, Eru-friends, and such may yet come to gather in this Lonely Isle, or hereabouts; and if so, I am to keep them safe-guarded, in love, and healed at the sands encircling my house;

Neither was Eru content to send others, where his own activity alone suited the Fates sung there by Ainu-choir; so it was seeing the Two Trees, he adored them, and yet anguished upon their lasting, knowing it could not come to pass, save passing through tunnels dark, and rank with unlife; howso the trees should come, and not only in root, he often considered, as he moved between – a traveler ever – Eru-place, and the New Little World, amid its springtime, flourishing after the removal of Melko, to wheresoever, far enough to hide;

Safe seemed all, and seeing his children Eldar and Atani well placed and housed in comfort, awaiting their sprouting and growth to take governance rightly, and leave Ainur to become as lords, servantless, yet masters of their own will and fate, nonetheless; he pondered the puzzle of sadness in their joy, in knowing yet what would here unfold, free it was of his dictation; and so thinking, to his thought came the word-thoughts of Feanor’s mind, concerning the weadle-narm Nerdanel, quisling before Ainu, aghast at these Powers and of their hands’ making, effortless, and beyond any devising-plan of her father Mahtan, greatest (among Eldar) sage in lore of making, yet scarcely a boy in learning at Aulë’s forges; so proud was Feanor, he bethought himself to take of their power, and to make a little thing, to wear, or give away, as in contempt of the disparity of makery- masterfulship, unshared, if shared may be, Ainur to Noldo; so he built, and crafted, and many gems he gave out, none to match his unknown desire, or design in ambition to show, display, little regard for the works of these powers;

And to him far below in a secret workshop, came in thought-form, the Eru who all things makes, and in making, gives away; hoping there to inspire Feanor’s craft, and lighten his heart also, so that he too would create a thing wonderful even to Valar upon thrones seated and yet also concede to their handling, and in time, to their giving as gifts, in reconciliation of breaches opened, amid Arda’s spring flows; Easy was it done, the Silmaril’s devising, yet long in the making; first came the enticing of tree-light, to rest in his palm, and stay; then the feeding of this light, until trusting, he could part it from its mother source, and away the wells or vats (as he called them, as though pigs at troughs, adrinking, came Eldar, ungraciously partaking); and at last at his table, he laid one light, come as seedling, and set it to sprout, vine and leafing tendrils; until in the long years of slow growth, three grew there, in secret, in love one for another, and union of soul-heart;

And Feanor also they looked to as Father, at his bench, warming their days, gentle to handle their unsteady roots, and to teach them light-seedlings, how to gather nutrition amid greatest darkness, and in long years, howso to give light of themselves, one to another, supporting; and without [one] own’s reduction;

Yet these to trees would not, and fearing the wrath of Valar Mahanaxar seated, Feanor set down before them a purpose and plan, to hide them afar off, there to grow as each surmised, in the mood of its light, straining to leaf, or take root upon whatever soil placed, and to breath and expire, new and different from their parent-trees;

So to seeds again returned they, who once as light were never so housed, but as seedlings lavered his shop; and this rent Feanor’s pride, and tore at his love kept still in his heart, fearing their demise, or plucking and eating, by some beast, thoughtless, heedless of great work and its long undertaking;

Coming upon these seeds, pods three trusting the father’s foresight, knowledge of that realm, and wisdom to independent growth and self-cultivation, he despaired to deliver them, and though setting out to do so, against his heart’s misgivings, in secret fearing their sight may beguile any onlooker, he sat in a forest, grown light despite a darkness since the First Days, pervasive and unrelenting;

Taking out the pips, as he named them, each to ask confirmation of his plan, and their solicitude to one will, together, he was walked upon by Nerdanel, spouse, and estranged; and seeing these lights, fell aswoon; never to forget after once looked upon, these gems burned her thoughts brighter, and she endeavored to forgive his slights, and hard tasking of her sons; and they (the pips) hoped her up, to see through her greatest, noblest desires; so reading this work as Eru’s intervening, Feanor kept the gems (as he named them, before others; pips to himself and them), and would in time traipse about in their adorning his brow, or cuffs; all the while pondering how to proceed in their planting, and whereabout, and how to explain their loss, and what of their absence, should love also depart, newly stitched about his own house and many others?

And a jealous, grievous love came upon him, in thought of their departure; so also did these pips come silent, being confused with quaint and curious rocks ashine by the light of living ones;

And even here, in this division, solicited Eru his own fashioning of Feanor’s endeavors, and there hoped he now to make of these pips, lattice-work to house all his children, fully realized, and free, at one in his song, and in tune;

Thus when Melko strode out to plains he did not lay out, nor cultivate flowers or wheat-corn from, and set the beak of the ghastly spider hame demon upon the bark, and its spike- hooves into the branches of those trees, amid her gaseous unlight-living dark (against Nature, and breaking Eru’s will, seeming); poisoned, the trees perished, as elsewhere many a lament recounts; and also now [Valar] looked to Feanor, Noldo exiled first of many of that realm where brothers Vanyar sat before, learning all Manwë and his house provendered; and he embittered, and loving now his father, and those gems under the father’s (Finwë) watch, Feanor could not foresee the pips opening, an “unlocking” of living heart, to bleed upon a poisonous cult; worshipful of emanation, yet disregarding the emanator, save in darkness, appreciating;

And though his mouth uttered many a vile deception placed there spritely in passing, by Melko himself, his heart and mind revealed love to Valar, and they pondered long its shimmer, in that unlight; and Eru, too, left them awhile to consider what course to undertake, and to hope it good, and wise; and benevolent was the counsel of Manwë and also the judgment of Varda, to Mandos both called, summoning the Fates, to hear all they would have seen, and what else others betide;

Now they devised a way to redeem fallen Feanor, and what-all sons who would return, and oath-forsaken, come to eat at their table, noble and honored, not despised; and though hidden to all, even Valar otherwise open in every council, this fate was borne by Varda within her own light, of the Eru-place originated; and it was, to enter Arda a second time, through the womb, suffering birth and childhood, forgetting all their woes (now) and bliss, besides; and separating, if only for a time, their minds-interlocked;

But it was not to them revealed, Eru’s mercy come upon Mankind: to die and depart, returning outside Arda-place, and the New Realm, to return and find Eru, crafting counsel for all the doings there undertaken; so prophesied themselves a doom cast, to die, unknowingly, when (re)birth alone was forethought; Yet in dying, wrought these two a second greater work, Mandos’s Halls un-gating, where for long years these swung only one direction; And now again they seat enthroned, upon Taniquetil, receiving there all who seek repose, wise counsel, heart, and soft rebuke; though my own daughters speak not of their travels, and where housed, in their minds I see the imprint of Vala, and of their speech, though I know it not at all; Great Heart is overall, despite unrest in the East, and cumbersome debate ringing out of the Western gates, so say Teleri-friend-kin;

Kleeathu impreshtaril igsigguen,
althues awarning him they too seek, to unmake…

Every lighting, the same troubling cries come of the Dead,
Without error: awarning him they too seek, to unmake…

‡

<<Previous Page | Next Page>>